trusting everyone so i can trust god

I have the hardest time trusting people like really I can't figure out why. It is so bad to where I can't tell my own mother it makes me cry. I wish that I would be able to trust cause if I can't I will die alone with a bunch of cats. I don't want that. Also i need for my own sake i need to open up and not just keep it in. god is more effected by it than i am he is the one who created me. i need to trust him and it is not easy. i want it to be but no it just can't be. i don't know what to do sometimes with myself. i also wish that my life didn't need to have so much complicated so that i didn't need to trust people sometimes. so this is just another thing in my path to a better relationship with god.

putting my well being in god

So recently I have had health problems. Which I am praying about and have had some people pray for me. I really am having a hard time letting God help me be healthy. Because I don't think it will do anything. Along this road though he keeps telling me he is trying to help me but I won't let him in. I think it is because I am extremely scared to let him try. I know I should but I also know it isn't easy. he keeps trying as am I. I am scared so much just sometimes thinking about makes me cry. but I have ask God everyday to please heal my body. I feel as if he is trying. I am so thankful for his awesomeness I mean without it I don't think I would ever be where I am now. I love him so much! thank you for helping me trust you God.