trusting everyone so i can trust god

I have the hardest time trusting people like really I can't figure out why. It is so bad to where I can't tell my own mother it makes me cry. I wish that I would be able to trust cause if I can't I will die alone with a bunch of cats. I don't want that. Also i need for my own sake i need to open up and not just keep it in. god is more effected by it than i am he is the one who created me. i need to trust him and it is not easy. i want it to be but no it just can't be. i don't know what to do sometimes with myself. i also wish that my life didn't need to have so much complicated so that i didn't need to trust people sometimes. so this is just another thing in my path to a better relationship with god.

putting my well being in god

So recently I have had health problems. Which I am praying about and have had some people pray for me. I really am having a hard time letting God help me be healthy. Because I don't think it will do anything. Along this road though he keeps telling me he is trying to help me but I won't let him in. I think it is because I am extremely scared to let him try. I know I should but I also know it isn't easy. he keeps trying as am I. I am scared so much just sometimes thinking about makes me cry. but I have ask God everyday to please heal my body. I feel as if he is trying. I am so thankful for his awesomeness I mean without it I don't think I would ever be where I am now. I love him so much! thank you for helping me trust you God.

putting him before myself and my friends

I have recently been told I should spend more time with god and not put him aside. Which partly I totally agree with that person. But then again I love and spend a lot of time with him. But i know I spend a lot of time with him. Also my friends tell me that I should be more holy and I should be sometimes. I just feel like people don't really know me inside and out. People like my family at church and home tell me I am beautiful inside and out. But I feel like me talking to god he doesn't tell me that. I love him to death like really but I lose faith that he is with me no matter how much time I spend with him. It's just people think that I am not a Christian like person because they don't see me spend that time with him. I just want people to know I am learning to the best of my ability. I need them to see that. Please look deeper and see how much I love him.

learning how to love the right way

God has been teaching me how to love my parents and my family all together. I used to be so rude to everyone in my family and now god is working through me. He is giving challenges everyday on how to love on people and I have failed a lot and succeeded a lot too. I try my very hardest to spend time loving on him. I have brought myself to take one-two things out of my schedule everyday for him. I think personally that without me taking time out of my schedule I wouldn't be at the place with god that I am now. He taught me how to love on him my family and people at my school and at my church. I thank him everyday for the life he has let have.